kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I have post one night stand depression
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