either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.