I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.