"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
