Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
