I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize