i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
