We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
