your thong is hanging out like whoa
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
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i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
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and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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