Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize