bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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