please come you make the beer taste better
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
