I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
