I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
