I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
