Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
