i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
