Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
