At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
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He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
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I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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