the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
