Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's rum buckets o'clock
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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