I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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