her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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