Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
