I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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