Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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