the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
