the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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