Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
