Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
