The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
