So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
