found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
