At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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