i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
