in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
