I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize