the condom got lost in my hair
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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