Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
