i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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