Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
