News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There r osticjed everywhere
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
