roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
