fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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