I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
