Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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