i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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