I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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