roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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