I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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