watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
