Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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