you guys were way drunker than both of me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
