The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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