i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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