No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
