i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
