i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
