and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
