woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
